She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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