Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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