he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
