The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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