I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
