I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You made out with two different species that night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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