I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
