just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
