There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
