how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize