ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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