Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
