I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
