Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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