he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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