his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
