I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
