Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
