thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize