1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
