thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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