the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
