I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize