dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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