i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
