Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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