She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
