I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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