Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
