I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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