I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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