Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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