you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
