I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
