Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
