Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They have beer where we have blood.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
