D3 body, D1 cock
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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