At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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