trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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