so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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