Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
