Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
