i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
