One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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