It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
