I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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