I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
