Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
