OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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