): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
