so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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