yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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