Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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