If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
