R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize