What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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