I'm going to jail i love you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My vagina is officially offended.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
