she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
