she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
