Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
