Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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